Dubya does "Who's On First?"

Tonight's feature is an update of the classic Abbott and Costello bit, Dubya style.

todays quote

throw back the little ones
and pan-fry the big ones
use tact, poise and reason
and gently squeeze them

Steely Dan, Throw Back the Little Ones

The Penguin Joke

I just gotta pass this one on. You have just gotta see it. Why? Because it's a penguin joke as told by a chimp, that's why. How could it be anything but funny?

props to Falafel Sex.

response time

I'm sick of hearing War Hawks talk about how Americans just dont have the gumption to fight a war any more, and that's why we're losing in Iraq (and why we lost in Viet Nam). That's a load of crap. We're losing (did lose) because we know, despite all the distracting bells and whistles of the Neo-Cons, we know that this war is wrong.
The difference between WWII and the Iraq War is not that Americans are big pussies now and were once Real Men then, but that the fight against Nazi and Japanese aggression was a real fight against a very real and tangible threat. Countries were invaded, militaries were destroyed, and millions were rounded up, jailed, enslaved and killed because of their ethnicity, creed, sexual orientation, or handicap. As unpleasant as 9/11 may have been, it cannot be compared to the invasions of Poland or China, or the Holocaust and the Bataan Death March. These were occurances on a horrible scale, and Americans very rightly took up arms to oppose them. Not only that, but they raised taxes, recycled for the War Effort, rationed supplies, and bought millions of dollars in war bonds. They sacrificed to win.
Compare that with today, when we've instead cut taxes for the rich, consume 25% of the world's energy, and going shopping (much of it on credit) is considered to be a patriotic duty. The only thing we seem to be interested in sacrificing is a few thousand soldiers and the future of our children.
If there is any weenieness on display now, it is in our timidity about protesting this horrible war.
You want proof that this is no Next Greatest Generation Conflict?

A) The war had to be sold to us. And sold to us using all the guile of an ethically challenged Madison avenue ad firm. We're a pretty righteous and blood-thirsty bunch*, do you really think we'd have to be talked into a just war?

B) The press is kept from the bodies of soldiers, with coffins being snuck into the country as if we have something to be ashamed of. Do we?

C) Not only were taxes not raised to pay for this war, but the cost of the war is hidden in a budgetary shell game called "emergency appropriations", which doesnt get figured into the "regular" budget numbers. I think the "emergency" is over, though the crisis shows no sign of stopping.

The administration has gone to great lengths to insulate the public from effects of the war (except for gas prices - that effect we get to feel), with the result that the only Americans who have actually felt the pain of this conflict have been the families of the 54,000 casualties killed or injured so far (though let us not forget that this number does not include casualties in one of the Bush Corporations finest slights-of-hand, the private contractors). They'll tell you that it's because our lily-livered liberal natures will get in the way of doing what's "right", and so we have to be "protected" from the truth of War.
I would suggest that the moral sense and courage of the nation is just fine, and were we not befuddled by deliberate deception, a majority of the nation would be clamouring for us to get out now, and for the heads of those who got us in. Oh, wait, maybe that's starting to happen already...
Isnt it interesting that while the Senate cannot muster the 60 out of 100 votes to pass any anti-war resolutions, the poll numbers show opposition to be right about at that 60% mark?

New Campaign Slogan:

The Republican Party. Putting the "Con" in Neo-Con.

Oh, and as for the charge of "encouraging our enemies", fuck our enemies. I thought that I was excercising one of those freedoms that our enemies hate so much. I mean, which is it? When I freely criticize the Bush Administration, as is my constitutional right, do our enemies cheer and feel validated, or weep and gnash their teeth in impotent hatred and jealousy? Not that I give a damn either way. What I say is based on what I feel, not what some fundamentalist asshole on the otherside of the planet (or next door, for that matter) thinks.


* Check your local listings for proof

note to "red staters"

I was perusing a story on the Budget that Fearless Leader has put forth for the coming year, and I'd like to share a thought that I had.
See, a few years ago, you red state types had your eye on a pretty little purchase. It was kind of expensive, but you really, really wanted it, and your Big Daddy is an Indulgent Daddy, so he went ahead and bought it for you. But that purchase turned out to cost a lot more than you thought it would, with a lot of hidden costs built in, and all the unexpected accessorizing, and, well, you blew right through your savings and started to charge the costs on credit.
Now, your "little" purchase is still mounting in cost, your Daddy is still grinning away (and since some of the costs you've accrued seem to be going to some of his other, more favorite, children, that grin is maybe starting to get on your nerves). He keeps assuring you that it's all for the best, that you've almost finished paying for it, but guess what...
He's lying.

Latest example: The surge, which no one seems to say much about the cost of (other than "it'll cost more not to"), is actually going to cost a lot more than they'll admit, because it'll involve a lot more people than they'll admit. What they forgot to mention is that if you send 20,000 soldiers somewhere, you also need to send about 20,000 support personel also. And guess what? That costs money. A lot of money.

Now, let's talk about that debt. See, if you were in bankruptcy court, the judge might, indeed, say that you needed to cut back on unneeded expenses (though I'm not sure he'd count things like health care as "unneeded"). But guess what, he'd also make sure that you paid as much money as you could, and if you whined at him that you dont like paying money, he's not going to have a lot of sympathy. He will tell you that you spent the money already, and that you are going to pay it back, and so to quit your whining. And if you tell him you only want to pay a little bit now because in five years you expect to have a much better job, he'll laugh your ass right out of the courtroom (though he may pause in his mirth long enough to slap you with contempt).

Let me make myself plainer:

go to war → rack up debt → pay more taxes

This is what has to be done. You fell for the Ponzi scheme. And if you dont like it, why dont you make sure the schemer pays for getting you into this mess instead of whining how unfair it is that you pay for it. No one forced you to go to war, but you did it anyway. Now grow up and cover your debts, you babies.

looky-loo

Just go look at this, it's pretty cool.

Darth Cheney strikes again

Okay, so the tale of Big Dick Cheney keeps getting more sinister. Apparently, the Veep seems to feel that not only is he above the law, but he is outside of the constitution, also. When asked to supply a list of personel attached to the OVP for something governmental called the "Plum Book", Cheney's office instead sent this little diversionary note:

APPENDIX NO. 5
OFFICE OF THE VICE PRESIDENT

The Vice Presidency is a unique office that is neither a part of the executive branch nor a part of the legislative branch, but is attached by the Constitution to the latter. The Vice Presidency performsfunctions in both the legislative branch (see article I, section 3 of the Constitution) and in the executivebranch (see article II, and amendments XII and XXV, of the Constitution, and section 106 of title
3 of the United States Code).
The annual legislative branch appropriations act (see, for example, Public Law 108–83) and the annual transportation-treasury appropriations act (see, for example, Public Law 108–199) provide funds for the Vice President to hire employees to assist him in carrying out his legislative and executive functions. Executive branch employees also may be assigned or detailed to the Vice President (see 3 U.S.C. 112) and the Vice President may employ consultants (see 3 U.S.C. 106(a)). The Office of the Vice President (OVP) consists of the aggregation of Vice Presidential employees whose salary is disbursed by the Secretary of the Senate from the Vice President’s legislative appropriation, Vice Presidential employees employed with the Vice President’s executive appropriation, employees assigned or detailed to the Vice President, and consultants engaged by the Vice President.
The numbers, titles and salaries of OVP personnel change with some frequency. The salaries of Vice Presidential employees whose salary is disbursed by the Secretary of the Senate from the Vice President’s legislative appropriation cannot exceed a maximum specified by law (see 2 U.S.C. 60a–1). The salaries of Vice Presidential employees whose salary comes from the Vice President’s executive appropriation also cannot exceed a maximum specified by law (see 3 U.S.C. 106). The authority to appoint, administratively determine the pay of, and discharge Vice Presidential employees rests with the Vice President.
The current duty station of all OVP positions is Washington, DC.

Now, I dont know about you, but to me this sounds like one of those little lectures that "superiors" give someone when they're giving them some sort of legalistic brush-off. It would appear that perhaps Dick Cheney thinks that the Constitution gives him some sort of status distict from both the Executive and the Legislative* branch. Now why he would set himself outside of both, rather than beholden to both, is something that can only be answered by Dick and his lawyer buddies... oh, who are we kidding. It's something that can only be answered by Dick's lust for power and that of his co-conspirators.

Hey, I got an idea. The Legislature is afraid to bust Dubya, worrying about the fallout, since even with his current crappy-assed numbers he's still got a fanatical following. But Dick, now Dick is another story, nobody likes him, not really. How about investigating Cheney, from his connection with the Plame outing, to lies about WMD, to his secret Energy meetings (why did oil prices go so high last year, really?). Impeaching Cheney may put the fear of God into Dubya, will remove the Dark Lord's presence from the White House, and will give Republicans a chance to put someone else in betweeen Nancy Pelosi and the White House.

Anyway, read this and this for more info, and read Majikthise's blog, from whom I swiped this story.


*dont forget, the VP is also the "head" of the Senate, sort of.

fuck the new blogger

I have just been hijacked by Blogger. So far I've resisted the changeover to the New Blogger, because I've yet to encounter it anywhere else without finding it to be a bigger pain in the ass than the Old Blogger. But today, when I tried to log into my blog, I was forced to switch over. I seriously considered just leaving, starting anew at wordpress, or maybe getting off my fat and lazy ass and putting my blog on my own thoroughly underused domain space. I still might, if the New Blogger pisses me off enough.
I hate the New Blogger. I hate the way that the comments always ask that question about "unsecured objects", and the way that they always need a second shot at the word verification. I hate the look of the buttons at the bottom of the screen when you're writing (those lopped-off corners and the awkward font). I hate that I'll have to log in with my full email address rather than just "daveawayfromhome". I even hate that label thing at the bottom, and while I did it this time, I may never do it again, just to spite Blogger.
But most of all, I hate being forced to change over. If it aint broke, then dont fucking fix it!!!

quote for the day

"I have always relied upon the strangeness of kinders"

me, talking about my 5-year old