Hey Kids! It's time for Mr. Metaphor!

Todays metaphor: the United States of America as a human body!

Let's start with genetics. Does the American body have good genes? You betcha! Does this mean that it's a pure breed, like a holstien or an alsatian? No, humans dont do very well when they try to breed "pure" (google "european royalty and inbreeding" or "nazis" for examples of what can happen), and to be honest, neither do dogs, really (see alsatians; hip problems). If you want a healthy, clever dog, go get a mutt. That's what America is, a mongrel nation, and it's stronger for it. Dont listen to David Duke and his ilk, they dont know anything about genetics, just appearance.

But now we come to trouble. While America certainly has started out with a fairly healthy body, I'm afraid it's let itself go. How? Well, gluttony, really. There was so much to consume, and America just couldnt seem to help itself. Like some kid from a rich suburb, America had it pretty easy growing up. Everything it wanted was right there, ripe for the picking. Sometimes it seemed like it barely had to work at all (as you may know, in it's younger years, it even had servants). And so consume it did. A lot. America is now the worlds greatest consumer. As you might expect from all this consumption, it's gotten kind of fat. And lazy. Now it spends a lot of its time sitting around its house, watching TV and whining about the mess. Most of America's energy is now spent on entertaining itself, eating, and hypochondria. It used to take pride in its jack-of-all-trades abilities, but now it just buys its stuff from others (mostly on credit).

Of course, most people can tell you what this type of lifestyle can lead to. America's heart now seems to be nearly non-existent, and something has gone terribly wrong in it's head. Fat people often have problems with strokes, so perhaps that would explain the strange behavior that seems to be coming from the right side of America's brain, but which has apparently paralyzed the left side of its body.

Now, a lot of people might say that America's doomed, that while America might respond that it feels fine, anyone can tell you that you need both sides of the body to be working to be a whole person. And with a bit of exercise and discipline, maybe a bit of research and implimentation of some good behavior habits, America could be as good as new. All it takes is the will to do it.

Will America be able to do it?

Oh, look! Lost is on!