Friday, May 12, 2006

The Fortune Cookie Game: the Dubya Edition

You know the Fortune Cookie game? I just learned it myself a couple years ago. It's quite simple. Whenever you get a fortune cookie, read it, then at the end, add the phrase "in bed". Hilarity follows. Take, for example, a fortune reading "your friends respect you, and wish you well"... IN BED! Here are some more examples:
•You will be fortunate in the opportunities presented to you... In bed!
•Your emotional nature is strong and sensitive... In bed!
•Your venture will be a success... In bed!
•You are very negative in words, act, and feeling... In bed!
•When it comes to helping others, you'll stop at nothing... In bed!
Okay, The Dubya Edition is roughly the same thing. Every time you hear Lord Bush or one of his Cabal make a claim about the dubious legality of their actions, simply add the phrase "in Dubya's head" (or the appropriate variation). Which makes, for instance, Michael Hayden say "Everything that the agency has done has been lawful"... "IN DUBYA'S HEAD"!
Hilarious! Enjoy these other examples:
•George Bush on NSA phone monitoring: "The intelligence activities I authorized are lawful"... In my Head!
•Scott McClellan on torture: "We do not condone torture, nor would [President Bush] ever authorize the use of torture. We have an obligation to abide by our laws and our treaty obligations, and that's what we do. That is our policy"... In Our heads!
•A senior administration official on outing Valerie Plame: "By definition, the President cannot leak," the official said. "He has the inherent authority to declassify something"... In the Royal Head of Lord Bush!
•Condoleeza Rice on torture: "The United States is a country of laws. My colleagues and I have sworn to support and defend the Constitution of the United States. We believe in the rule of law"... in Big Daddy's head!
•the Justice Department issued a "white paper" last week arguing that the president has inherent war powers under the Constitution allowing him to authorize the (domestic surveillance) program... In his head!
•George Bush again on NSA phone monitoring: "Secondly, I said, before we do anything, I want to make sure it's legal. And so we had our lawyers look at it... There's no doubt in my mind it is legal"... (oops, no need to add the phrase on this one.)
Another great thing about this game, is that you can play it every day*! With the revelations of new scandals showing no sign of abating, and The Bush Corporation showing no signs of contrition, this game could go on long after you've become sickened by it. (After all, even Chinese people dont want to eat Chinese food every day!)

Now, in order to kill the doubtlessly short time it will take while waiting for the next scandal from the Court of King George to provide a useful quote with which to play, may I suggest reading this article, wherein George Washington University law professor Jonathan Turley compares The Bush Administration to the Sopranos. Convincingly.


them Alkalai types is dang'rous, you never know where they're hidin'.

*game ends Jan, 2009**

**in the event of coup or martial law, gameplay may continue.





Something in my links has been giving the code in Blogger fits, so after the sixth time rebuilding this post, I've decided to just put them at the bottom here and let you cut and paste. Never let it be said that I dont document.

the first three fortunes from : http://www.wisdomportal.com/JS/RandomFortunes.html
the bad fortune : http://www.badcookie.com/
the frowny fortune : http://www.fal.net/html/misfortu.html

Bush/NSA - http://uk.news.yahoo.com/11052006/325/bush-denies-spying-infringes-privacy.html
McClellan/torture - http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2005/10/26/
mccain_fights_exception_to_torture_ban/
Plame - http://www.abcnews.go.com/Politics/story?id=1815938&page=1
Rice - http://www.state.gov/secretary/rm/2005/57602.htm
Justice dept : http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/23/AR2006012300754.html
Bush, again - http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2006/01/20060126.html

2 comments:

Bryan said...

Good post, Dave.

Here's the video clip you are referring to: Bush Family Values.

Unknown said...

Jesus christ in a thong..I love this game.