another modest proposal

I've been giving some thought to the issues of vouchers, No Child Left Behind, and the inability of America's schoolchildren to do better than children in third world countries. Here's a possible solution that I think we could sell to our Republican Masters:

How about this system for schooling our children? At the end of each school year, the children in lowest 10% of test scoring will be rounded up and euthanized. Parents of these children will be given $10,000 to make up for their loss (with a 6 child cap to prevent Welfare Queens from making an industry out of the process). While this $10,000 dollar payout may sound expensive, considering the (wasted) lifetime cost of educating these non-achievers (plus the potential expense of adult incaceration and welfare costs), the savings will be substantial. The bottom 5% of teachers can also be killed, providing both a carrot and a stick for the improvement of test scores (and reducing the need for pesky merit-demanded pay-raises and unemployment insurance costs). The number of losses will be large for the first few years (exciting public reaction), but as time goes by the pool of children will grow smaller, and thereby reduce the number lost each round, even as public resistance cools through familiarity with the system. Additionally, the culled children can be ground up and used in an expanded school meal program, ensuring that each remaining child gets a good solid protein-based dietary intake, while simultaneously cutting the bottom line on food costs.

The savings to tax-payers under this program would be substantial, reducing greatly the monies given away to the undeserving poor, and freeing up resources towards greater tax credits for the driving economic engines of this land, multi-national corporations and the patriots who invest heavily in them. I believe this program should be put into motion as swiftly as possible.