Thursday, December 15, 2005

conscientious objection followed by appeal to authority

Okay, I've had enough. Yes, I've participated in it. I'm not proud of that. But really, enough is enough.

I had tried, and failed to take the High Road. Attempts to ignore the issue failed, as charges grew ever more ridiculous. Torture, War, the Economy, and Governmental Corruption, all brushed aside.

Yes folks, we have come to the point where even our social battles are Themed for the Holidays.

I am talking, of course, about the latest facet of the Liberal War Against Christianity: The War on Christmas.

Is it stupid? Yes.
Does it distract from other, more serious issues? Boy, does it ever.
Should Jerry Falwell and his ilk burn in Hell for adding their two cents to the marketting campaign for Christmas? Hell, yes!

Why do I think the "Christmas Crusaders" are so stupid? Well, let's see. Suppose they win, and Christmas becomes really Christmassy. What happens then? Only Christians will want to participate in Christmas, that's what. Then some misguided busy-body will bring forth a law suit charging that Christmas Break is Unconstitutional because it gives state holiday status to a Religious Observance (plus, let's face it, as anyone in a pre-college school knows, Christmas break and the end of the semester do not coincide unless the school year starts really early, i.e., weeks before Labor Day). So we may lose that.
But more important to Christians should be the loss of Good PR.

Seriously.

Think about this. Regardless of your religion, whether Christian, Jew, Muslim, Wiccan, Buddhist, Taoist, Shinto, Animist, Satanist, whateverist, unless you work at 7-11, you've got a day off, courtesy of the Baby Jesus. You cant buy that kind of appreciation. All over America, when anybody but convience store clerks and movie theatre employees think of this particular Christian Holiday, they feel happy. Maybe nobody does say "Oh, I owe my day of rest to Jesus, thank you Jesus, thank you!" But it's in their head, whether they know it or not. Just as Republicans have managed to equate "civic responsibility" with "robbery by taxation", so does "Winter Break" equal "Christmas".

Still, despite any satisfaction my internal snobbery for my superior reasoning may have given me, the issue was still buggin me. If I couldnt maintain the high road, perhaps I could call upon a Major Authority Figure.

So I e-mailed God (I had His e-mail after our last encounter).

---dave wrote:
> What's your stand on the Christmas/Holiday dispute?
>
> dave

--- God TheFather wrote:
> Sometimes you humans really amaze Me, and I'm
> omniscient. A few points:
>
> 1) Holiday = Holy Day - what more could one ask for?
> 2) Even Biblical scholars will agree that I'm the same
> God for Islam, Judeaism, and Christianity,
> which covers a sizeable chunk of holiday-goers right
> there.
> 3) Jesus is a big boy now, and He doesn't mind
> sharing His birthday.
>
> God

---dave wrote:
> Cant you have a talk with Faldwell, quiet him
> down or something?
>
> dave

---God TheFather wrote:
> I know I've tried, but each time he simply claims I'm the
> Devil come to decieve him, sticks his fingers in his ears,
> and sings the "Battle Hymn of the Republic" really loud.
> And deliberately off-key.
>
> And don't ask me to descend upon him My Heavenly
> Wrath. I've told you before that I dont do that stuff.
>
> God
So, there you have it. The Ultimate Authority, and He's come down on the side of Holiday. Any questions?

8 comments:

rev. billy bob gisher ©2008 said...

brilliant. saying what i have said better. leave well enough alone you idiots. linda is waiting on you in the dj booth.

United We Lay said...

How do you email a guy who doesn't exist.

Unknown said...

Yahoo. Hum. Thanks for the suggestion. Good post—this thing has gotten really out of hand. I have a friend who is doing her dissertation on “the Passion of the Christ.” Her theory, and she was born and raised as an “it’s the end of the world” Christian, is that many who follow the religion as she did actually need to feel persecuted. She stated that it is odd how Jesus’ death and crucifixion is always celebrated but little is said about his life and work during life. I think this is an acute observation from this brilliant’s girl. She would know better than I as she lived it. Thanks. R

daveawayfromhome said...

Oh my, yes, that makes perfect sense. How can you be a "real" Christian without being nailed up onto your own personal cross? Yeah, I can definitely see how some could think that way, especially if they were already the type who believes they are morally obligated to "break" their children to their will, or that wealth is a Gift from God as reward for "moral" behavior.

hmmm. will think on this.

United We Lay said...

How can you be a real Christian?

rev. billy bob gisher ©2008 said...

i'm not even gonna touch the real thing. nope. i am outta here in 48 and want a smooth trip. ptop'd you dave first post up.

daveawayfromhome said...

Beats hell out of me how to be a "real" Christian, but I think a lot of revolves around being nice to people and not acting like you what's going on in the mind of God. Can you imagine if God was as petty as Pat Robertson makes him out to be? I think my mom is a real Christian; she believes, but she's not obnoxious about it.

Davoh said...

Sheesh, and 'americans' think they can 'rule the world'? If this is the best that they come up with, no wonder everyone looks elsewhee. Bah Humbug!