Saturday, January 28, 2006

preventative measures

Recently, here in Big-D, the decision was made to install cameras at intersections to catch light-runners. This seems alright to me, but I find myself wondering, "does it go far enough?" Why dont we take a cue from the Bush Administration? I say we turn to Pre-emptive Ticketting.
Imagine if, every month on the 11th, there was another terrorist attack on America, just as deadly as that of September, 2001. Imagine now that there was an extra attack for the Holidays.
That's how many people die each year in auto accidents. How many of those deaths could be prevented with the sure knowledge that you're going to get a ticket if you break the law? That's the thinkng behind the cameras to catch people running red lights. And it works, too. So why not take that a step further, and give out tickets before the crime is committed? 40% of auto fatalities involve alcohol. What happens to a drunk driver? He loses his license, but he does so after he kills someone! Let's take it away before.
Plus, it's a great revenue enhancement during these tough budgetary times, and because it's democratic (everyone will get a ticket, because naturally everyone breaks the law while driving sometime), it wont place an undue tax burden on the rich, a sure-fire Republican pleaser (which it needs to be, because, let's face it, they are in charge).

But why stop there? Every year a mind-boggling 200,000 Americans die from prescription drug reactions. Now, obviously we cant ticket the Drug Companies, because they're corporations and have more rights than you or I, but I think the families of those who may die are ripe for a fine of some sort. After all, shouldnt someone be reading the labels and fine print.
Motorcycles? 80% of accidents lead to injury or Death. Own a motorcycle, get a ticket. Maybe two. Or three.
Think of the possibilities. Poisoning Deaths per year: over 9000, but almost everyone uses chemicals or drugs at some point during the year.
Firearms? 1,100+. Forget gun control, just fine everyone with a gun, maybe chuck every third one in jail for good measure. Killing is a crime.

Finally, with a few strokes of the Presidents pen, we can produce sweeping tort reform also. After all, when ordinary people are obviously culpable in their own deaths (as evident by the citations given to them), then large and very profitable corporations must be innocent.
Voila!
No more outrageously large awards to people, just because someone died. Now law enforcement will be able to concentrate on the real crimes in America, crimes such as music piracy, copyright infringement, trademark violation. Freeing up law enforcement to solve crimes of property will be good for the economy. And if it's good for the economy, it's got to be good for America.


some links about the Dangers of American Life:

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh, nice neo-liberal idea. I am sure that certain members of our government would love to install such a program! LOL Only one problem, everyone would be so scared to go out and buy stuff and keep the economy going because the more they get out in the world, the more likely, statistic wise, they will break a law or die or need drugs and so on.

I really liked this post! You propose an important question/issue.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

Dave,

Now see, this is doomed to failure from the start. It flies in the face of George's insistence that everyone take personal responsibility for their actions. It works like this:

You do something and get caught red-handed. Then, you blame it all on someone else, showing dynamic leadership by snatching victory from the jaws of defeat.

With your plan, George would never get the chance to take responsibility for his actions by blaming someone else. HIs actions would be pre-ticketed and he'd have to issue and executive order to overcome the ticket because the president needs to be able to be free to blame someone else when it is convenient.

Man, you pansy-assed liberals are all alike. I have half mind to report you to the NSA.

daveawayfromhome said...

No, no, no.

@ Rebecca: There will no longer be any fear to go out and buy stuff, for fear of ticketing, because you will have already gotten fined, pre-emptively. Just as a pre-emptive attack on Iraq has prevented terrorist attack in the U.S., so will pre-emptive ticketing prevent bad driving.

@ Poobah: Dubya, of course, holds the ultimate power, that of Presidential Pardon. I'm sure that anything he wants to do with it will be okay with the Supreme Court.
Also, as a fellow traffic ticket holder, Dubya shows that he is indeed a Man of the People. Plus, as a Rich and Powerful Guy, he doesnt drive himself much, and so can probably get some sort of waiver (or perhaps his ticket will be transfered to his driver, who should be grateful to even be given a job).
Some sort of waiver might also be given to government officials. After all, if they're making the laws, how can they break them, right? Trust in your government is very important.
Plus, my plan wouldnt eliminate law enforcement, merely shift emphesis from the mundane crimes against ordinary people, to the far more important crimes against the economy, i.e., those involving corporate property and rights.
I see this as a logical extension of trickle-down economics.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm...it's like that Tom Cruise movie where the bald chicks in the pool can predict murders and Tom Cruise arrests people BEFORE it happens.

Or something else much more intelligent. The whole idea of Big Brother is a little alarming to me; I remain afraid of cameras in public places.