Calling all civic-minded criminals!

Your country needs you.

Please, next time you intend to commit some form of crime, I would suggest that you go to a lawyer first. Not to find out if what you intend to do is legal or not, but in order to get some form of document saying that it is, regardless of how twisted the logic or faulty the reasoning may be.
Then hold onto that document.
Should you, perhaps, be caught later on, and charged with whatever crime you did indeed plan out (and get a document making it "clear" that the act was, in fact, not illegal for), please use said document as part of your defense, and make sure that your defense lawyer gets some juicy media coverage when you do.
Yes, yes, no doubt you'll go to jail afterwards, since you will not have billions of dollars and dozens of think-tanks at your disposal, but think of the service you'll be providing the country. If you're very good, you may even have done service enough to have Dick Cheney or Donald Rumsfeld as a cell-mate. Imagine the possibilities!

Or maybe it'll work. It wouldnt be the first time.

Dare to Dream!

Addendum:

In a completely unrelated post, Samurai Frog made this statement:

According to the fringe right, calling it an “enhanced interrogation technique” means it isn’t torture. If you call it an “enhanced dating technique,” does that still make it rape?

Now, suppose some rapist used this argument in court - would anybody who's been awake the last year or two not understand the subtext? And, equally important, does anyone think that such a defense would work? So why should changing the name work as a defense for torture, especially when one considers that torture is as close as you can get to rape without a penis.