safety tip

Savage Chickens!

a halloween riddle

Q: Why did the zombie cross the road?

A: BRAINS!!!

Save yourselves. But dont do it this way, 'cause life aint like the movies.

pre-celebration comedy

xkcd!

pre-halloween fun

Q: Why didnt the zombie want to go to the Halloween Dance?

A: He didnt have a ghoul-friend

zombie time

they say it's your birthday!

Happy Birthday to ya!


Happy Birthday to The Brother.

today's wtf moment

"Neuticles allows your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering."

Seriously? Are we supposed to believe that because Rover cant lick his balls, he feels shamed and depressed? I've never noticed that it stopped my dogs very personal grooming habits, and, by the way, a brief note for all soft-hearted (-headed) animal lovers out there - those big sad eyes have nothing to with his heuvos and everything to do with your cheeseburger.

Props to Poobie.

Addendum:

Man, I'm disappointed. I suspect that no one clicked on the picture and followed the link, which was a really, really wierd one. Does no one (and I've asked this before) mouse-over the images and read the hidden text?

quote for the day

"My Arabic is rudimentary, one major objective being successful tours of the markets (souk). Eventually my son and I worked out a good routine. We would jabber away to each other in Klingon, ignoring the merchant's appeals to us in multiple tongues. If we were interested in something I would say, no doubt with poor grammer, "anna min Tegwar". This threw them for a loop. These guys are very good, but do not speak Tegwari. We could browse unharassed, eventually switching to German for actual negotiations.

Tegwar is an acronym for The Exciting Game Without Any Rules, from the classic baseball book, Bang the Drum Slowly."

Tacitus2, a regular conservative commenter on David Brin's blog. He is a reasonable, well mannered person, which proves that they arent all maniacs. And he speaks Klingon, which really, really counts for something.

I-pod love

Lydia tagged me over on Facebook, and I thought I'd just make it one of my random I-pod posts, because I can.

Ipod ShuffleShare
Mon at 6:51pm
If I tagged you, it's probably because I'm guessing you have wonderful, eclectic taste in music, and I'd like to expand my selection....thanks! And if I didn't tag you, I reached my limit....)

Once you've been tagged...
(1) Turn on your iPod, MP3 player, iTunes, Victrola, 8-track deck, or hurdy-gurdy.
(2) Go to SHUFFLE songs mode (or scatter your cassettes/78's about your parlor randomly).
(3) Write down the first 21 songs that come up--song title and artist. NO editing/cheating, please. Even if it's some of that devil jazz music the kids are so into these days.
(4) Choose a bunch people to be tagged. It is generally considered to be in good taste to tag the person who tagged you.
If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about your musical tastes, or at least a random sampling thereof.

Of course, I dont do tagging, not because I hate people who tag, but because it's just not my way. On the other hand, feel free to do one of these yourself.

My List:

1. "Pure Drama" - Downset
2. "I Call Your Name" - Beatles
3. "Travel Is Dangerous" - Mogwai
4. "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" - Paul Simon
5. "Rambling Pony [Complete Master Version]" - Fleetwood Mac
6. "Tourist Point Of View" - Duke Ellington & His Orchestra
7. "Within You Without You" - Beatles
8. "Silver Millionaire" - Chainsaw Kittens
9. "I Wont Dance" - Frank Sinatra
10. "What's On Your Mind" - Information Society
11. "Gloria (ii)" - Palestrina
12. "It Ought To Be Easier" - Lyle Lovett
13. "Once In A Lifetime" - Talking Heads
14. "Burden of the Angel/Beast" - Bruce Cockburn
15. "Sabbath Prayer" - Fiddler On The Roof Soundtrack (film)
16. "Lake Of Fire" - Nirvana
17. "Rex Tremendae Majistatis" - Mozart
18. "Dead" - Pixies
19. "The Infanta" - The Decemberists
20. "Szasregeni Szido Tanc" - Muzsikas
21. "Underneath The Bunker" - R.E.M.

Lydia, as far as expanding your collection, as an 80's afficianado, I'll assume you're all Bruce Cockburned up (pronounced Co-burn) already, but if not, get some of his stuff.

quote for the day

For years, I've been reading David Brin's praise of Russ Daggatt, but never bothered to look him up. Now I feel foolish, because I should have. First article I've read, Daggatt demolishes the idea that St. Ronnie single-handedly defeated those terrible Commies

"A more sophisticated theory of how Reagan ended the Cold War goes like this: Reagan’s big military build up caused the Soviets to overspend in an attempt to keep up which bankrupted the Soviet economy. This explanation has the benefit of a plausible theory of causation. But let’s break it down. We spent a huge amount of money on the military during the ‘80’s (a true statement). The Soviets tried to keep up with our escalating military spending (an untrue statement). The Soviet economy collapsed (a true statement). Can you spot the problem? The Soviets didn’t attempt to match our military build up. We greatly increased our military spending during the ‘80’s (tripling the national debt in the process), but the Soviets didn’t."

That's just for starters. Following that are a host of other reasons for the collapse of the Soviet Union including fax machines and our new playground, Afghanistan. I'm going to have to put him in my blogroll.

(all this is moot if you followed last Wednsday's link)

today's wtf moment

Seriously, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

...better than I could say it

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

via Missouri Loves Company

imagine...

Can you imagine how the right-wing noise machine would react if President Obama:

- Increased federal spending as a percentage of the economy to levels previously seen only during World War II.
- Tripled the national debt.
- Dramatically increased Social Security payroll taxes on employees and employers.
- Increased the capital gains tax to 28%.
- Raised gas taxes.
- Increased federal government employment.
- Created a massive new cabinet department.
- Sold arms to Iran.
- Withdrew entirely from a Middle Eastern war zone in response to a single deadly terrorist attack against US troops.
- Funded terrorist groups in our own hemisphere.
- Signed a treaty committing to make deep cuts in our strategic nuclear weapons.
- Proposed the total elimination of nuclear weapons.

And what if the most expensive federal office building in history was subsequently named after him? I'm sure it would be mocked as a fitting legacy to this “big government” president.

The president I'm describing is, of course, Ronald Reagan.

Stolen outright from Russ Daggatt

today's wtf moment

So, let me get this straight...

1) We pay oil producers trillions for oil, plus we pay to protect the oil producers in both military costs and soldiers lives, and we subsidize their militaries which then adds more to the cost of the first two things. Now, when it looks like the world might finally be gearing up to wean itself off of OPEC's oily tit, then...

2) They ask for compensation in order to diversify their economic base so that when we stop buying their product (oil) it wont devastate them financially.

Now normally I'd say that the Saudis have lost their fucking minds. But maybe not. Imagine you're a Saudi. You sit halfway around the world, making money hand over fist because some rich, spoiled nation has absolutely no control and more money than brains. You watch as their economy collapses because of the wanton greed and stupidity of their banking sector, and the response of that nation is to give more money to the bankers without making them take paycuts, or even trying to fix the oversight issues that led to the mess in the first place. I mean, why wouldnt you ask for compensation?

I mean, it seems to be working for our energy barons.

Props to Gerry Canavan

sunday funny

Wondermark!

saturday night at the movies

Stolen from Samurai Frog

Let's have a Happy Boss Day!

Jesus! Isnt every day Boss Day?

the recovery is to the economyas health insurance is to healthyness

I've been thinking about the way economists keep saying that we're in a "recovery", and I've got a theory why they keep saying that even as unemployment continues to increase.
See, here in America, over 70% of the our wealth is held by only 10% of the population. These are the people who are benefitting from the stock market increases, who are getting "performance" bonuses because their bailed-out companies survived the collapse, who make salaries that are a degree of magnitude greater than the average worker (though some will say that those people "earn" their wages, I'd have to ask how exactly a lawyer's work is actually worth 10 times or more that of a pump jockey, but that's neither here nor there for this conversation).
Anyway, since those people hold the bulk of the money in America, and money has become the only thing that matters here any more and the sole measure of one's worth, then it follows that if those people are doing well then America is doing well. Whether or not the other 30% of the money (and the 90% of the nation that is attatched to that money) is not doing so well is irrelevant, since the majority (money-wise) is doing just fine.

Here's another article on the distribution of wealth, that says that top 20% holds over 80% of the wealth. Which is right? I dunno, and with numbers like that I'm not sure it's not like quibbling over whether the rapist used a condom or not*.


*Or is that too much hyperbole? Ah, fuck it,who cares if it is when you're the one with the distended sphincter?

warning

In no way shape or form must Rupert Murdoch be allowed to expand his media empire, especially by adding a whole 'nother network. We need more people owning the media, not fewer.




props to Gerry Canavan

today's quote

"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one. 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."

- Voltaire

snails

As much as I appreciate the rain, as much as we kind of needed it, especially considering the last few autumns have been really dry, as much as I actually like cool, grey, rainy weather, I will be so grateful when I can walk out my door without hearing the crunch of snails under my shoes.

a warning for children everywhere

Kids! When someone offers you stardom and fame, just say NO!.

Sure, it may look like a non-stop party, but as you can see, fame can be every bit as health damaging as methamphetamines are. This girl is only 23 years old! Stay in your regular school, go to college, study science or computers or something.


Dont Let This Happen To You!


Image props to Samurai Frog

This message brought to you by the Committee for the End of Celebrity Worship. Remember folks, they're ordinary people just like you (except for the money and the non-stop media presence, of course)

for me, Al Franken

Al Franken just gets better every day. Why? He proposed an amendment to the 2010 Defense Appropriations bill that would withhold defense contracts from companies like KBR “if they restrict their employees from taking workplace sexual assault, battery and discrimination cases to court.”
As you might have guessed, though only if you were fairly cynical perhaps, there was Republican opposition to this bill. That's right, thirty senate Republicans apparently felt that rape was less important than the profits of outsourcing contractors. Interestingly enough, in the discussion thread at the topmost link, the usual right-wing apologists had not appeared to defend the nay-saying senators, which indicates that despite the votes of the Pro-Rape Thirty, Franken may have found a subject that even ordinary conservatives can agree with liberals upon.

(beat, beat, beat)

Naaahhhh.

As one commenter put it "Now we are holding rapists accountable for their actions. If this keeps up, someday we may hold war profiteers accountable."

Oh, those crazy dreamers.

Want to know how your senator voted? Seriously, this is a biggie, folks. I may even e-mail my Republican voting mother and say, "you have two grandaughters, and yet you vote for these men? Maybe you need to think about your values and who you put in office to represent you and those values".

no gentlemen

I've said before that I thought that Republicans had rejected the old idea of gentlemanliness and descended into boorishness (while calling it virtue).
What I hadnt thought of before is that Democrats have equally given up gentlemanliness, but in the opposite direction - they sit and bloodlessly take the beating that GOP bullies give them, forgetting that while a gentleman never attacks, he is well-able to defend himself when it is necessary.
Yeah, I know that this sounds like an old-fashioned idea, but gentlemanliness is really a kind of distillation of what makes societies work. If politeness and manners are the grease that lubricates the gears of civilization, then the concept of The Gentleman (or Gentlewoman, for that matter) is the delivery system for that lubricant.

thought for the day

It occurs to me that the problem with the current crop of available health care proposals, both those put forth by the Blue Dogs and those put forth by Republicans, is that they, like all conservative plans, operate under the assumption that profits and the success of whatever business is being regulated is more important than the health and well-being of the People.
They rely on the idea that What's Good For Business Is Good For America, when it's actually been more true that What's Good For Business Is Good For Businessmen And Everyone Else Can Do For Themselves.
We need to rethink the idea that there is no more important function of government than that it promote the making of money. Better to promote things such as education and healthcare and trust that these will lead to the making of money. And really, in overall terms, does it matter whether the money comes from taxes, or "lost" profits? Republicans have made it their mission to cut taxes, but imagine how things might have been here in America had they concentrated less on keeping their money and more on making sure that it was well-spent.

Bonus thought: for those who argue that Americans have a "right" to health care, well, no they dont. Hell, we dont have a "right" to much of anything, but rather have decided as a collective to grant certain rights to all citizens. Right now we're debating health care for all. Maybe we'll add that one, maybe we wont.
On the other hand, one could easily describe there being a moral imperative for universal health care. Christians certainly ought to recognize such an approach, but dont for some reason (probably because they've gotten all caught up in the question of what people "deserve", rather than acknowledging the simple rightness of providing healthcare - I seriously doubt that Jesus would have had any problem advocating universal healthcare).
To be fair, though, while we have no "right" to health care, neither do doctors, insurance companies or stockholders have a right to profits.
So there.