Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Oh please, Rick, please save us from the bad, bad fairies!

Thank God that there's still some decency left in this wicked, wicked world. Not a day goes by when some homosexual activist in a pink trenchcoat doesnt come up to me, handing out pamphlets and trying to whisper in my ears about the joys of sodomy. Every other night one of my daughters will wake up shrieking, "No! No! No! Please dont make me marry a woman! I want a real family!" Then they cry and cry and cry. After the fifth time that my wife tearfully confessed to watching Will and Grace again, I finally (as the rightful, biblically-mandated Head of House) had to get rid of the television. Sure it'll be tough, but I usually watch the Game with my buddies anyway. Fortunately for us God-fearing folk here in Texas, Governor Rentboy is pushing for a constitutional ban on gay marriage.
Hah! That'll show 'em! I mean, if you let gays marry, what's next? That's right, DOGS AND CATS, LIVING TOGETHER! After that, it'd be Anything Goes. Mandatory abortions, four-year limits on marriage, high-heel jack-booted thugs breaking into homes and tearing apart families, maybe even a liberal education in the schools where good clean science is completely ignored and unproven wacko theories like evolution and gravity are taught. Well, buddy, not in my state! My dog stays outside, right where he belongs!

this message paid for by the Republican Council for Strawman Issues

No comments: