some time at the park

So the other day I was sitting around at the park, doodling in a sketchbook while my daughter played on the monkey bars (or whatever they call them these days), and I drew God. Not in his aspect as my brother, but in the traditional manner: robes, flowing hair and beard.
I wished it was better, then drew a bird, for no particular reason, other than because it was, after all, a sketch book.
Then I looked up, and saw God. He was walking across the playground, His long white beard and hair streaming in the wind that had come up with His approach (I think that was what made me look up from the sketchbook). The same wind was swirling through the silken folds of His robes in a manner to make a Renaissance painter weep with joy. As He walked His arms swept out in the kind of movements you would expect to see only on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. He sat down on the bench beside me.
"Nice entrance", I said.
"Thanks," He said, "Every artist enjoys his crafts, even if he rarely practices them. You ought to know that."
I thought of the corner of the garage stuffed with photographic equipment. Oh boy, dont I know it.
"Yes" He said.
Suddenly, my daughter appeared in His lap, seemingly from thin air, grinning that little grin of hers, eyes a-twinkle. "Hi God!" she said.
"Hello, how are you?" He said, in a sober manner that was somehow playful.
"I'm four." she replied, with equal gravity.
"Icee-pop?" God asked, the long, thin tube of orange ice in His hand.
"Yes, please." She grabbed it from His hand, then sat down next to Him to eat it. A car pulled up to the park, and mother and her two children got out. I noticed God's hair and beard, in addition to being much shorter, was now a salt and pepper color. His robes had become a pair of jeans, a t-shirt from some New Orleans crab place, and a windbreaker. He was also a rather distinguished shade of brown.
"Nice shoes." I said, pointing to His Chuck Taylor All Stars.
"I see you prefer the low-top." He said, gesturing at mine.
Two more cars pulled up, spilling children and mommies. My daughter, Icee-pop abandoned, ran out to join them.
"It must be time for someone's play-date", I said, watching another car pull up.
"No, no," He said, "This always happens when I visit a park. If you ask them, they wont know why they came, but I think they sense that I would never let anything bad happen to the children while I'm here."
We sat for a while, watching the children play.
Finally, I asked, "So... what brings You here today?"
"You drew Me in."
"In what? My sketchbook? That made You come here today?" I was dizzied slightly by the implied power of my action.
"Well, images certainly can carry a lot of power, but no, nothing like that. I could tell that you were kind of bummed out, so I came to see what I could do."
"How about a rain of shit on the Capital?" I said, though without much hope.
He narrowed His eyes at me, and suddenly all the children in the playground booed. Mothers looked up concernedly.
"No, I guess not." He has told me, repeatedly, no wrath of God stuff. I keep asking though, and I think it's starting to irritate Him.
We watched the children some more, then He made a gesture towards the playground. "That doesnt make you feel better? It always works for Me."
I looked at the children. "It's them I worry about more than anything. What kind of world are we leaving them? Pretty fucked up, I know that."
"Oh, it's not so bad." God replied. "I have to look back only a hundred years and I can tell you of a world much, much worse." I suppose He meant that part about looking back literally.
"But we could, we should, do so much better."
"Yes, yes, you could."
I was not feeling better at this point.
"You really should lighten up some." He said. "You dont need to be serious all the time. You need a balance of the two, and you, my son, are out of balance."
"But we're killing the planet!"
"You cant kill the planet, you can only kill yourselves. The planet will live on, even if the human race turns out to have been only a filter."
We watched the children some more. They were playing a strange little game where each would shake anothers hand, and then say, "What an interesting point, I'll have to think about this", in a somber voice. Then both would giggle. I had no idea what they were doing.
I told God that He wasnt making me feel any better. He told me it wasnt His job.
"Go read a good book," He said, "or see a funny movie. Do you even read the comics anymore?"
He sighed.
"Listen, Dave, think about this: Remember in the 50's when everyone thought there'd be a robot in every kitchen and a helicopter in every driveway? Did that happen?"
I looked at Him. "I'm sure it did on some dimension."
This smart-ass response was rewarded with one of His beatific smiles. All the children on the playground whooped in joy. "You're getting better at this." He said, giving a measured look that made me nervous for some reason.
Then He stood up. "Nothing ever works out the way you think it will. Ever. For anybody. I gotta go now, but We'll talk again later."
After He left, the mothers and their children filtered away almost as quickly as they had come, so I collected up my daughter, and went home to file the drawing somewhere safe, and to find my copy of the Holy Grail.



from The Gospel of Dave, chapter 5, verses 12-21

12. And on that day did Dave attend the commons with his youngest child, and with him carried pencil and paper bound. 13. And on the paper he did fashion an image of the Lord. 14. Then came a mighty wind, and the Lord appeared to Dave in His Glory. 15. Soon the park was filled with the Children of the Lord, feasting in His Presence and echoing His thoughts.

16. Again did Dave ask the Lord to smite his enemies, and again did the Lord refuse. Dave and the Lord then did speak, but yet Dave was not comforted. 17. And so the Lord did suggest "Good Omens", or some other amusing tale, but Dave remained in his funk. 18. And so the Lord bid Dave to lighten up, reminding him of the Jetsons, and how that future came to naught. But Dave was unconvinced, and said, 19. "There are other Dimensions", in which answer the Lord was well-pleased, for in it He saw the coming of Dave's wisdom. 20. And whereupon the Lord returned to His ethereal plane, Dave did partake in the Holy Sacrament of the Python King's Quest, 21. and Lo! he didst laugh righteously.