Saturday, September 05, 2009

preview

You know, it's a damn shame that few people read this blog, because I just happen to have come into possession (through fewer than 6 degrees) of the full text of Barack Obama's planned adress to the schoolchildren of America.

And I've got to tell you, I'm worried. Very worried.

Here it is:
A girl got a pet goat. She liked to go running with her pet goat. She played with her pet goat in her house. She played with her pet goat in her yard.

But the goat did some things that made the girl's dad mad. The goat ate things. He ate cans and he ate canes. He ate pans and he ate panes. He even ate capes and caps.

One day her dad said, "That goat must go. He eats too many things."

The girl said, "Dad, if you let the goat stay with us, I will see that he stops eating all those things."

He dads said, "We will try it."

So the goat stayed and the girl made him stop eating cans and canes and caps and capes.

But one day a car robber came to the girl's house. He saw a big red car near the house and said, "I will steal that car."

He ran to the car and started to open the door.

The girl and the goat were playing in the backyard. They did not see the car robber.

A girl had a pet goat. Her dad had a red car.

A car robber was going to steal her dad's car. The girl and her goat were playing in the back yard.

Just then the goat stopped playing. He saw the robber. He bent his head down and started to run for the robber. The robber was bending over the seat of the car. The goat hit him with his sharp horns. The car robber went flying.

The girl's dad ran out of the house. He grabbed the robber. "You were trying to steal my car," he yelled.

The girl said, "But my goat stopped him."

"Yes," her dad said. "That goat saved my car."

The car robber said, "Something hit me when I was trying to steal that car."

The girl said, "My goat hit you."

The girl hugged the goat. Her dad said, "That goat can stay with us. And he can eat all the cans and canes and caps and capes he wants."

The girl smiled. Her goat smiled. Her dad smiled. But the car robber did not smile. He said, "I am sore."
This man must be stopped.

6 comments:

Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Indeed, where's my pistol?

daveawayfromhome said...

Republicans have got it. But they didnt take it away, they just bought them all.

Unknown said...

I watched it. The MOST boring speechifying I have seen from The Big O yet.

Even the Christian Science Monitor called it bland.

daveawayfromhome said...

Of course it was boring, it was a speech to schoolchildren about working harder. Not exactly an electrifying subject.
Add to that Teh Stoopid from the right, and the spineless triangulation that the Democrats love so much in reaction to teh stoopid, and you end up with a lowest common denominator nothing of a speech.

Still a nice idea, but it could have been so much more.

Unknown said...

Damn skippy it could of been so much more. He usually writes the bulk of his own speeches and I know that man could of come up with something a lot better.

daveawayfromhome said...

I dunno, probably woulda been wasted on a bunch of kids, anyway.