Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Seven Things I swore I'd never say
the foolishness of youth

The other day I was in the dining room, when I heard my child utter words that chilled me to my very soul;
"Yay! David Hasselhoff!"
Had I known twenty years ago that the seed of my loins would use such a phrase, I may well have castrated myself.
Ah, youth!
How many times, as a kid, did I fume to myself, wallowing in self-pity after some punishment or other meted out by my parents. grumble grumble grumble, when I grow up I'm never going to do that to my kids, grumble grumble grumble.
Well, of course you were wrong.

Here's the List:
  1. If you two dont cut that out I'm pulling this car over, right now!
  2. If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it, too?
  3. That is not a toy
  4. How would you like it if I did that to you?
  5. Aww, did you get a boo-boo?
  6. No, grandma is not drunk
  7. Do you want me to give you something to cry about?
Okay, I'll admit it. That list is a real cliché. Hell, this whole post is a real cliché. But I think the reason that it's such a chestnut is because it's also a sort of rite of passage. The first time you catch yourself utter one of those phrases, you're stunned. But after a few times, you realise that it's OK. That they really shouldnt be putting that up their nose, that you really will turn the car around and go back home. Later you'll meet with your old friends from high school or college, and you'll all laugh about the things you find yourself saying, and no one will apologise for any of it. Because you are a Grown Up.

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